daily fieldnotes

Shadows and reflections in the city 1

I am determined to move out of this city. At the same time, I am determined to enjoy it now that my mind is made up. And there is little I enjoy more than taking walks with the camera, snapping pictures right and left, getting ice cream with JJ, or coffee, or appetizers at the Ferry Building.

Our first apartment was down by the baseball park, and we often walked along the Embarcadero to the Ferry Building and downtown, taking pictures of the bridge or the old fireboat house, talking about technology and education, or dreaming about the future. “I’ve always wanted to live in San Francisco” I said, “and here we are”. It was so right for that time in our lives.

Now, we’re in our fourth house here, counting a short-term sublet last summer. Six years have gone by, with one away in Barcelona. We’re in a quiet neighborhood, and our house is the bottom floor of a 3-story Victorian, with views of buildings climbing the hills behind, and the brown peaks of the highest point in the city. It’s very quiet for the city, with easy parking, a small back deck, and a garden down below. The neighborhood is clean, and the shops are delightful. There’s a cafe 3 blocks away where I like to go work on my dissertation, or just write.

It’s the nicest place we’ve lived so far. But this summer, I’ve finally realized that as much as I’ve enjoyed living in San Francisco, it’s not home. I am ready to grow roots, but not here. I need to be somewhere that’s warmer, wilder-feeling with more open space. Somewhere where we can own a house, paint the walls any color we want, garden and know it’s ours.  I’m not a city girl, it turns out!

So we are talking about moving. And I am trying to make this feel like home in the meantime.

It makes me wonder: When did you feel like you’d really put down roots somewhere? What made you feel that way? Was it children? Buying a house? Getting a job you loved? Something else?

1 comment

  1. Megsie

    07/07/2011 at 4:52 am

    I think I am weird. I married my high school sweetheart, and we moved back to our home town. A year after we were married we bought my parent’s house. We lived there for nine years, and there were already “roots” there. Automatic roots! When we decided to move, I guess that is when I felt like we were making a leap, but sometimes I look around my house and still think it looks like a big dorm room. I am still waiting to be a grown up and, you know, buy expensive, good quality furniture. I don’t know if it is EVER going to happen. That is what I fantasize about when I think about winning the lottery. Of course, to win the lottery you actually have to play the lottery…so I guess I am out of luck.

    I am excited for you, making this transition! I can’t wait to witness it!

     

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