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daily fieldnotes » Blog's archive » The Here and Now Here
 
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The Here and Now Here 2

Something about this post from Christina Rosalie on her beautiful new site made me sit down and show up here today. I love blogs, read a handful religiously, another handful now and then. The beauty of this medium, blogging, is how it provides a way of following stories over time, and thus a way of connecting through writing, photography, passions. I love sitting down, checking in with people, seeing creativity at play, photos, projects, daily life as it shifts and changes. But it continues to be hard for me to put myself out there, to participate.

Since I had my sweet son five months ago, I have been overcome with this feeling of how we are so easily boxed in by how we see things every day, all the time. Like a view out your window that you see every day, your perspective on life can feel so permanent, static, unchanging. We forget that the view is not permanent. Then something big happens, like becoming a mom, sending shifts in identity roaring through us like a river of snowmelt down a mountain, bringing with them questions and new perspectives on everyday life.

It feels to me like the changes in identity that come with having a baby hold both transformative possibility, and the potential for stagnation and letting myself fade behind the demands of childrearing. So with this shift, the rumbles brought by motherhood, I’m asking myself: how can I live a life where I’m not hemmed in by the way things are, the things I’ve always done, the way I’ve always thought about things?

Showing up here is one way. Having the courage to be vulnerable, to write even when I don’t know what to say, to share pictures even when I’m not sure what they say.

See you soon.

2 comments

  1. Megsie

    07/21/2012 at 8:13 am

    Blogging is hard for me too. I hate to admit it, but I have to force myself to sit down and just do it! I am procrastinating my next post RIGHT NOW. I never really feel like I have anything to say of significance.

    But when I come here, I love to read your words. You are always FULL of significance! I love this: “It feels to me like the changes in identity that come with having a baby hold both transformative possibility, and the potential for stagnation and letting myself fade behind the demands of childrearing.” Wow. When I had an infant all I was thinking about was how to finagle more sleep into the equation. This is a major ah-ha moment. Children really do try and get you to go that “stagnation” route. And it it so easy to lose yourself in their never-ending needs. I am excited to read more about your journey into motherhood here. I am at a different place in my life with kids that are growing up so fast, but I remember that exhaustion of having babies.

    Your baby is getting so BIG! He is so adorable I have had to go back and linger at those cute cheeks and that addictive smile. I can tell how happy he is, and how happy YOU are. Things are good.

     
  2. Bethany

    08/14/2012 at 5:16 pm

    What a sweetheart you have there! I would be nibbling on his cheeks in a second. 🙂 And you know, you’re spot on about motherhood having the potential for both transformation and stagnation. Life has been changing constantly since my girls showed up, but at times, it’s like I’ve dropped out of their fast lane and gotten stuck somewhere off to the side. Writing is how I work through all of that too, so you’re certainly not alone!

     

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