daily fieldnotes

Getting close 4

Sunday was my baby shower, a most beautiful day where my mom, sisters, nieces and friends descended on my house and transformed it with flowers, amazing food, laughter and bundles of love for this little one on the way. I’m 36 weeks now, he’s almost full term, and as I write this, the doorbell rings and the car seat we ordered arrives. I feel like he’ll come close to his due date, but also feel ready if he comes sooner.

The last couple months have been about being pregnant (and the extra eating, resting that entails…) and pushing ahead on my thesis. Next week is my 100-day deadline. I already know I haven’t made as much progress as I wanted, but I built up a lot of momentum on the thesis in the last months and feel really good about that.

Being pregnant has been such a joy! And after having such a hard time getting here, I’ve just felt so damn lucky to take part. Of course it’s uncomfortable at times: fatigue to the bone, sore hips, heartburn, nausea, insomnia… But mostly I’ve felt strong and good, (thanks in no small part to prenatal yoga, I’m convinced). Feeling the baby move, wiggle around, get the hiccups (multiple times a day!); feeling him grow makes me smile again and again. Pregnancy is a time of big expectations for the future, and I’ve loved the energy of that.

What does blogging mean to me in 2012, in this year of change in my life? I’m not sure yet. Working so hard on my thesis has taken all my writing focus, and notebook/journal writing has been more sporadic. Yet there are so many things I’ve thought about writing about and having a conversation here. Giving and getting advice in pregnancy. Making peace with living where we do, while also wanting to move. How advice books can make us more anxious about becoming a mother, rather than helping. And so much more.

In April I’m going to see Anne Lamott and her son talk about the new book they cowrote, Some Assembly Required: A Journal of my Son’s first Son.
I can’t wait! Read her book about her son’s first year last month, and found myself laughing out loud many times. Was also inspired to journal more, especially when my son is born.


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